Accounts of Jesus' resurrection portray the disciples struggling to believe the news, unable to shake the sense that it was too good to be true. Post-traumatic stress? I get it.
Even after the resurrection, the disciples still had more crucifixions to face, sometimes their own.
But I'm thinking of what Jesus prayed in the garden. "Father, if it be thy will, let this cup pass from me..." It's ok to hope that the dark, painful path won't have to be the one we must take. God made us for life, not death. We let in the light, we gather around the bountiful table with friends and lovers, we hug them close and kiss and laugh with them, because this is what God made us for. Joy, family, connection. For ever and forever.
The darkness, the pain, the loss and separation... It's real. At times it is what must be. Let us face it bravely when it comes. But it has limits. It can't claim us forever, the way God has claimed us, the way Christ claims us today, resplendent, alive. Remember that, even in your crucifixions.